Wanted: imagination when hiring talent

Dear Indian software company, I didn’t want to write this, but you forced me to this. I am stunned at that apathy and lack of imagination in the way you try to hire talent.
When you want a guy to come for an interview, the least you could do is, giving him parking space. That’s fine, I can live without parking space. But you claim you are ‘going green’ and yet, you insist on ‘a printed copy of your resume’ ‘printed copy of this e-mail’… My small brain can’t fathom how that is exactly ‘going green’ Did you realize this is 2010?

Now that’s just getting to your gate. The experience is, subtly put, fucking irritating. If I somehow managed to enter your hallowed precinct, your staffing team, sure as hell, ups the ante. “Be seated. I’ll call the_staffing_team_jerk_off” The front office zombie tells me. And the wait is eternal. As I watched those clocks that showed time from all timezones, I thought “Thank god, at least, they have a sense of humor!” Why should any self-respecting, experience pro wait? Just to meet you? You think you are doing him a favor?

Fine, I grudgingly move on and the interview is finally happening. A single word describes the actual interview: insufferable. What does “How would you qualitatively collect requirements from customers” mean? And what does “Describe yourself” mean? What do you want me to say? I was half expecting “What are you wearing” as the next question. Some genius even asked me ‘Tell me about your parents.’ Nut case!

Why is it tough for you to get this: an interview, especially in our context, is not a test. It’s the place where you and I find out if we could have a business arrangement. Capisce? Now if you are in agreement, don’t you think you should make the whole experience painless? And when you want people to drive to your mega office complex, 30 miles away, offer to pay for gas. Goddamn! Customer experience. Customer delight. Customer focus. These are the buzz words you use. A prospective employee is also your customer. Forget delight, at least ensure there is no pain.