How I won the World Cup for India

Ramaswami Mudaliar was a kind man but he wasn’t too kind when it came to his Dyanora black-and-white television. In 1983, owing a television was the current day equivalent of driving a BMW with Katrina Kaif as your dinner date. Mudaliar probably hugged and slept on the TV, which was encased in a wooden cabinet. Such was his love for the idiot box. As a ten year old it really didn’t interest me: watching Chennai Doordarshan’s ‘Vayalum Vazhvum’ (a show for farmers that also educated us how to create a Gobar gas plant every now and then.) The only other frequently aired program was ‘Suveet, Kaaram, kaapi’ which carried a family planning message: the number of courses in your meal is inversely proportional to the number of children you have. Or some such shit.

But that day was different. More...

Comments (13)

Gharwal Diaries -2

27th October 2010. Night. Around 2200 hours. Khirsu.

The jeep fell silent after a rancorous cough. My ears are still ringing. The forest rest house (FRH) was tucked away atop an incline. 1800 m above sea level. The crickets and the eight of us are the only ones making noise. The chowkidhar turned up after yelling for him for five minutes. Harish Negi. He told us his name.

The Forest Rest House, built in 1913, has a solemn ambiance. The cream-yellow, angry walls stared at us. ‘1913?’ I thought. ‘There must be ghosts here.’

28th October 2010. Early morning. Khirsu. FRH Compound

It is cold. Too fucking cold.  I step out. The Himalayan range stared back at me. Snow clad, regal, and absolutely breath-taking. In the backyard garden of a house, I spotted activity. Black-lored tits. More...

Comments (1)

The end of Suren as we know him?

For all you guys that know Suren, here’s some breaking news. The rum-loving, party animal who terrorized unsuspecting victims with his ruthless one-liners has been branded. Yeah, that’s what samarshanam means. They brand you with red-hot Sanku and Chakra emblems. What this entails is that Suren is not supposed to drink, smoke, and eat (even veg food) from outside. How long can he hold on? Is this the end of the monster Suren? Time will tell.

I’d like end this with Suren’s popular quote: “Sappunaa Saaklaitu. Nakkuna Nakslaitu.”

Comments (2)

A Married Man’s Angst

Back in 2003, while waiting for an auto to go to the Koyambedu bus station, my brother blurted out all of a sudden, “They think something is wrong with you… you know? You are 30 and still not married?” Of course! My brother was being very polite: once an elderly gentleman, on a train, asked me, ‘So are you married?’ I said ‘No.’ He frowned and said, ‘Go to a doctor. You should never let these things prolong.’

There’s another pattern that I have noticed. Suddenly, Venguttu mama and Suresh mama are prowling around, trying to spot unmarried boys and girls. These guys, well over 50 now, have become self-proclaimed matchmakers. They do it for free too! It’s like “So why should we be alone in the misery? Bitch?” It’s sadistic. Until you’re married they just won’t stop hounding More...

Comments (4)

The Garhwal Diaries – 1

26 October 2010, Delhi, Dehradun

We got rooms in the Doon club! Thanks to Dominic. The ‘Jehar’ (fresh lime juice) from the Doon club kitchen is supposed to be world renowned but I think it’s overrated. The boys made fun of my humungous suitcase. It can carry a whole town inside it.

Sandeep, seems to love animals. We were drinking in the balcony and Sandeep was all concentration, watching a bunch of dogs down in the lawns.  He even had his eureka moment and he screamed, interjecting an intense conversation, with ‘Hey they are having sex! They are having sex!!’

Sandeep says he sees our faces covered in undies. Because we kept saying ‘cocky’.

Raghuram Kalletla reiterates what a big fan he is of T. Rajender, by crackling every now and then with “Action cum direction. Added More...

Comments (2)

The Duck’s Gonna Go

I was sitting in the D stand on the fourth day, watching the match when Pujara walked by. I normally don’t scream at players to grab their attention, I mean fuck. No. But when I saw Pujara, I felt like I had to tell him. I screamed “Pujara! Hard luck man!” He was mildly shocked I guess. He smiled at me and gave a thumbs-up. I told myself ‘hope this boy makes it in the second innings.’ I had doubts though. I was sure Pujara would walk in only if the top order collapsed. It didn’t and Dhoni & co made that brilliant move: sending Pujara one down. Watching Pujara and the first innings hero M. Vijay play, I couldn’t help but think ‘Our cricket is in good hands.’ Agreed, their litmus test will happen when More...

Comments (2)

Wanted: imagination when hiring talent

Dear Indian software company, I didn’t want to write this, but you forced me to this. I am stunned at that apathy and lack of imagination in the way you try to hire talent. When you want a guy to come for an interview, the least you could do is, giving him parking space. That’s fine, I can live without parking space. But you claim you are ‘going green’ and yet, you insist on ‘a printed copy of your resume’ ‘printed copy of this e-mail’… My small brain can’t fathom how that is exactly ‘going green’ Did you realize this is 2010?

Now that’s just getting to your gate. The experience is, subtly put, fucking irritating. If I somehow managed to enter your hallowed precinct, your staffing team, sure as hell, ups the ante. “Be seated. I’ll call More...

Comments (8)

Demystifying Fitts’s law

Fitts’s law states that acquiring a target is a function of the size of the target and the distance between the pointer and the target. In other words, bigger, closer the better. If you have anything to do with user-experience design you would have come across this ‘law’. What most practioners of UX design probably don’t know is this: why are bigger, closer targets easy to acquire? The probable answer lies elsewhere, in neurology. A few years back I stumbled upon Dr. V.S. Ramachandran’s BBC Reith lecture. It was a defining moment for me: it suddenly dawned on me that design is not so much about focus groups, surveys, and collected opinion. Design is about your brain. Continue reading “Demystifying Fitts’s law” »

Comments (1)

Kabini: Wilder Waters – 1

The tusker charged at our jeep. Initially I thought ‘mock charge, ha ha’ and started clicking away on my Nikon D90. And then it struck to me that only the ‘aunties’, female elephants that take care of the babies, mock. This tusker meant what he was trying to do: smash us to pieces. Our driver, an experienced, expert hand, from the Jungle Lodges Kabini team reversed and was all set to turn around and scoot when the tusker abruptly gave up his charge. So our driver chose to hang around. A red wattled lap wing shrieked and flew over us. My heart was banging against my chest. Axel, a German photographer, whispered, ‘can we go closer? After some time?’  I was stunned. I wanted to scream ‘Dude do you realize we could all have been killed?’ And I turned More...

Comments (2)

Stories from Chennai

I always saw Chennai in Yellow. It could be the harsh sun. Or probably the bright colored Sambar with a wild, turmeric fragrance. The Chennai in early 80s was a different world. There were no high-rise apartment complexes. Barring the LIC building on Mount road, which was the tallest in Chennai, there were no distinguished tall structures. We lived in a small lane off Seethammal road in Alwarpet. A few hundred families existed there: crammed into a lane whose tail end was abruptly blocked by a concrete wall, which separate an old bungalow and our miserable lane. An ancient Mango tree lived in that bungalow and it monstrous branches spread across the wall and into our lane. There was no traffic in the lane thanks to the wall that blocked the rear end. We played cricket in the lane; More...

Comments (2)
Go to Top