Batman Ends

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I normally don’t write about movies. I am very opinionated and it does not appeal to the sensibilities of the intellectuals (ha ha) around me. As I was telling a friend today, I go to a movie to lighten up, have a good laugh, and get in the mood for a couple of beers. I don’t watch movies like an art lover appreciates art in a stupid piece of cloth sprayed with paint by a mad ***k in his stoned state. No sir. I don’t do that. I hazard an assumption here that most people are like me when it comes to movies.
Well, Batman Begins is one of those movies that makes you think a lot, for you have a lot of time at your disposal as the movie chugs on: frame after frame of bland storytelling. We just sat there, munching on the popcorn and cracking silly jokes, waiting for the movie to end. There are a zillion reviews out there, so I am not going into the details of the movie. I am going to restrict this post to the most annoying parts of the movie.
1) Editing: I don’t know what this technique is known as but it sure is very irritating. The fight sequences especially; they are abrupt and incomplete, as if, the editor pieced it all up, standing, controlling his urge to go take a leak. The scenes just don’t patch up. OK, now, if you call it stylized film making, well, screw you monkey boy.
2) The lines: ‘It is not what you are beneath that defines you. It is what you do.’ To conquer fear you must become fear‘ You get the idea don’t you? It was like being face to face with a blabbering, big mouth with a serious case of bad breath.

It feels as though there’s more dialogue in Batman Begins than in its four predecessors combined, which would be forgivable if its characters spoke with each other, as they do in Sam Raimi’s heroic Spider-Man 2, rather than at each other. But instead they deliver dreary and redundant fortune-cookie aphorisms about guilt, fear, justice and vengeance that sound deep (“To conquer fear you must become fear”) but never climb out of the shallow end. Only when Michael Caine, as trusty butler Alfred, and Morgan Freeman, as Bruce’s weapons outfitter Lucius Fox, appear does the movie at all feel warm to the touch. They’re old pros at keeping a straight face as the scenery, and the rest of the movie, collapses around them. Gary Oldman, too, as young Lieutenant Jim Gordon, is perfectly cast; he looks as though he was lifted from the pages of Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One comic. [More on Dallas Observer]


…what a pity the screenplay is so appallingly sophomoric (replete with ugly, wrong-headed social themes) and the dialogue so irredeemably platitudinous (“I seek the means…to fight injustice”; “What chance does Gotham have, when the good people do nothing?”; “Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up.”).[Source: unknown; I got it via e-mail]

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