Fashion is like…

‘Fashion is like boyfriends. Changes every season.’ Screams a hoarding. I noticed it on the ride back from work. The caption is complemented by a visual of a girl walking by a trash can, dumping a piece of paper. Well done Globus. You have appealed to the sensibilities of all the brothers out there, licking their wounds and wallowing in self-pity and getting sloshed on cheap rum, about how that girl walked out of that door for that dude with the Skoda and spiked hair. Thank you very much.

Here is the deal anyway. We shall urge the men’s clothing guys to come up with better campaigns to counter this assault on our brothers’ love lives. Here are some captions to start with:
1) This one is for that blue jeans that we boys love: ‘Fashion is like girl friends. It sucks.’ Okay, not good? Fair enough.
2) Khaki trousers: ‘Get a head’ Or better still ‘Get a head. Every day.’ I am sure the DPS boys will love this one.
3) Jeans (let’s give it one more try): ‘Get laid.’ —Um, no— ‘Get laid back’? Throw in a visual of a queue of those bombshells waiting out side the guy’s door. The guy in jeans is sprawled on the couch. With three other bombshells by his side.
4) We could try some ‘attitude’ selling too. This one is for the cargos. ‘How can you tell if she liked it?’ ‘Who cares!’ (some fitness center is doing some nonsense like this, no?)

Please don’t let virgins write ads. Please! If one more guy tells me ‘sex sells!?’ I am going to make him watch Salaam Namaste. Four times in a day. And ask that terrible, terrible question ‘Who is prettier? Preity or Saif?’ Oh, by the way, I liked the first half of that movie. They compensated by shitting all over the second half. The maternity ward climax deserves the academy award. For vulgarity. And Abhishek (guest role) enthralls us with his utter lack of acting skills and bad timing. Okay, girls, come on I am not commenting on his looks. I am only saying that the man can’t act; even at gun point. But guys, tell you what, Arshad Warsi and Javed Jafri are brilliant. They deserve the president’s gallantry medal.

[Anamika. This post is dedicated to you. Don’t you complain again saying that I don’t write happening things.]

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