The brown man Down Under

When young Ishant Sharma gave away his wicket, predictably so, under what was probably one of the most dramatic and high-pressure situations in the history of the game, Cricket took an irreversible turn. I predict the beginning of the end of Aussie supremacy, for true champions do not resort to unfair methods to win. When they start doing so, it means that they no longer are as confident as a champion ought to be. You may laugh. You may say it is wishful thinking, but write it down dear friend, the Aussies are on the decline.
I am not going to go into the details of the controversies that surround the match and its result. The Aussies complained on Harbhajan Singh and got a ban slapped on him. That to me is funny. They invented sledging and made a science of it. This whole racism thing is nonsense according to me. I call at least two people ‘monkey’ every day! So, why are they whining like a pack of prepubescent monkeys? Because they want to win. No matter what. India has managed to create doubt in the Aussie’s mind. The Punter is actually worried that Indians might just do the unthinkable: beat them in their backyard. Not many teams in contemporary cricket have done that. So Ponting had to dig deep into his repertoire as an Aussie skipper (and you know what that means) to pull off a historic win. Eight decisions against us are termed dubious from the last test match. That’s enough to alter the course of a test match. Two decisions in the second innings were enough actually. Rahul Dravid’s and Hussey’s. It is unfathomable why a black umpire would dislike the brown men so much! Do you remember how Bucknor gave Sachin out LBW when the ball had actually hit Sachin on the helmet? I can cite a few more, but I think I have made my point. I simply can’t understand why that man hates us so much. If you dig up statistics, most controversial umpiring decisions go against visiting sides when they are playing Down Under. I see a pattern there but I have little evidence to prove it to you. I’ll leave it at that.

I think it is time we showed the finger to ICC. We can afford to do that trust me. Some how Mr.Pawar (who probably celebrates every time he gets on his feet without help) does not seem to be assertive. I am quite sure of how Mr. Dalmiya would have handled the situation.

Now, should we abandon the tour? There is a lot of acrimony over that point but I’ll tell you what, this is sport and sport must go on. Abandoning is the easy way out. As far as Bhajji’s ban goes, if ICC does not relent, well so be it! It is only 3 matches. Malcom SpeedMike Proctor said “I am South African, and I understand the word ‘racism’.” I mean what the fuck was that! What is racism to him might not be so to us! But when the mighty white man talks, you listen!

Finally, this whole thing about spirit of the game and that Cricket is a gentleman’s game yada yada is crap. No self-respecting captain or team will give the match away to save the so called spirit. But you know what, we Indians are melodramatic to the point of being stupid: sometime in the 60s, we sent a Hockey team to Pakistan with strict instructions to… LOSE! I read it in Tony Greig’s book (don’t remember the name of the book). Also, think about it the Aussies are champions because their approach is scientific. It is time we stopped being melodramatic and turned to method (and also stop making stupid Cricket commercials like ‘mind and body, heart and soul’). Also, it is time we stopped taking shit from these bastards. Think about it, we let Ricky Ponting talk about, hold your breath, integrity! Hilarious!

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