Back in 2003, while waiting for an auto to go to the Koyambedu bus station, my brother blurted out all of a sudden, “They think something is wrong with you… you know? You are 30 and still not married?”
\nOf course! My brother was being very polite: once an elderly gentleman, on a train, asked me, ‘So are you married?’ I said ‘No.’ He frowned and said, ‘Go to a doctor. You should never let these things prolong.’<\/p>\n
There’s another pattern that I have noticed. Suddenly, Venguttu mama and Suresh mama are prowling around, trying to spot unmarried boys and girls. These guys, well over 50 now, have become self-proclaimed matchmakers. They do it for free too! It’s like “So why should we be alone in the misery? Bitch?” It’s sadistic. Until you’re married they just won’t stop hounding you and manipulating you. And you’d think, ‘Once I am married, I will be rid of these jerks!’ Probably. But another set of guys are waiting. Unmarried, unlaid, these rabid bastards make fun of you: the married man.<\/p>\n
Some unmarried, guys have started posting status updates ridiculing the institution of marriage. These souls make statements like “If I want sex, I’ll get it. Why get married?” or “Cleaning the house is a bitch. I need to get a wife.” Dear you-know-who-you-are, FINE! But do you know what happens when your friends’ wives read your updates?<\/p>\n
“You got married because you couldn’t get laid, you loser?”<\/p>\n
“Is that your mom on twitter? Disguised as your friend?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
So stop being all rational and logical and shit. One more time, and I will play T. Rajender songs in my car at full blast and circle your house all night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Back in 2003, while waiting for an auto to go to the Koyambedu bus station, my brother blurted out all of a sudden, “They think something is wrong with you… you know? You are 30 and still not married?” Of course! My brother was being very polite: once an elderly gentleman, on a train, asked […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[59,85],"class_list":["post-950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","tag-humor","tag-rants"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"jetpack-portfolio-admin-thumb":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Suman Kumar","author_link":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/author\/suman-kumar\/"},"uagb_comment_info":4,"uagb_excerpt":"Back in 2003, while waiting for an auto to go to the Koyambedu bus station, my brother blurted out all of a sudden, “They think something is wrong with you… you know? You are 30 and still not married?” Of course! My brother was being very polite: once an elderly gentleman, on a train, asked…","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Gbk8-fk","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":709,"url":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/2005\/05\/netajis-researchers-miffed-at-him-being-showed-as-a-married-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":950,"position":0},"title":"Netaji’s researchers miffed at him being showed as a married man","author":"Suman Kumar","date":"May 2, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I found this hilarious. A bunch of 'researchers' of Netaji have found purpose in life. They are pissed off with Shyam Benegal's movie on Netaji that depicts him as a married man! Ah! How can one show Netaji committing such sacrilege? Marriage! What's the bloody problem guys? You believe Netaji\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":550,"url":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/2004\/07\/we-are-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":950,"position":1},"title":"We are married!","author":"Suman Kumar","date":"July 7, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"I am a married man! the past few weeks have been a roller-coaster ride for me and I have so much to catch up on. I promise you all a unputdownable story. And you know that takes some time. So, check out these pics (courtesy Prakash. He is a brilliant\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1007,"url":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/2007\/11\/want-bun-get-married-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":950,"position":2},"title":"Want bun? Get married first!","author":"Suman Kumar","date":"November 14, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Man in South India married a dog....the groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun.I hope he stops with the marriage and does not think of consummating it. Poor Selvi.","rel":"","context":"In "culture"","block_context":{"text":"culture","link":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/category\/culture\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":962,"url":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/2007\/02\/i-love-america\/","url_meta":{"origin":950,"position":3},"title":"I love America","author":"Suman Kumar","date":"February 6, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"And this is why: Nasa astronaut arrested for attempted love rival kidnapMrs Nowak, a married mother of three, was friendly with Navy Commander William Oefelein, a pilot on space shuttle Discovery\u2019s trip to the space station last December, and believed Ms Shipman was having a relationship with him, it is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"humor\"","block_context":{"text":"humor","link":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/tag\/humor\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":450,"url":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/2003\/02\/450\/","url_meta":{"origin":950,"position":4},"title":"My Friend's Wedding One of\u2026","author":"Suman Kumar","date":"February 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"My Friend's Wedding One of my close friends is getting married today (probably is already married I am 6 hours behind him as I am in USA right now). His life-partner is a(an?) European girl. Never knew what global village actually meant. Now I know. And I am amazed that\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":400,"url":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/2002\/08\/400\/","url_meta":{"origin":950,"position":5},"title":"Sundays Suck Yea, especially if\u2026","author":"Suman Kumar","date":"August 4, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Sundays Suck Yea, especially if you're living all by yourself. I haven't had my breakfast, only black coffee... without sugar i have ran out of sugar.. time to get married i guess!","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=950"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1354,"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/950\/revisions\/1354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sumankumar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}