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    8/31/2004

     

    New Hire Orientation -Part1: The First Day

    The most dreadful experience for a new hire in your organization is the first day at work. No matter how experienced the new hire is, the first day is bound to overwhelm, psyche, and freak-out the new hire. First impressions last. Let us look-in these series of posts based on my personal experiences-at how oragnizations can help the new hire feel at home and comfortable.


    Make them feel important
    In late November 2001, I packed my bags and left for Indore from Chennai (my home). I joined Computer Sciences Corporation India. Indore, by a conservative estimate, is at least a hundred years behind Chennai. I was new to the language and culture; my Hindi was slightly better than that of Diego Maradona. For a Chennai guy, any other town is a cold place. Indore, on the fateful evening I landed there, was freezing at 8 degree Celsius. I checked in to the hotel where CSC had made my stay arrangements. It was around nine in the evening, and the air was ice-cold.
    The food was completely alien to me. Rice was missing. I stuffed some Rotis in and got back to my room. The door handle was 1000 degrees below zero. My body was shaking involuntarily. I decided to wear another layer of clothing, and before long, I had emptied half of my suitcase. So, I went to sleep, wearing a week�s worth of clothing, a monkey camp pulled over ears and eyes; and with the TV on.

    The next morning they served Chinese noodles for breakfast and I wanted to punch the F&B guy�s nose, for he was acting as if it was the most natural thing to do: eating Chinese noodle for breakfast! I was petrified. I double-checked the map to ensure that Indore was in India. I was experiencing an inter-galactic culture shock.

    The company car picked me up from the hotel at quarter to nine. The driver was this friendly chap; only, I did not understand a word of what he was saying. So, to ensure that he does not know I was Hindi-blind, I started rattling out movie names: �Haan kuch kuch hota hai!� �Oh! Qayamat se Qayamat Tak!� �Dil to Pagal Hai!� �Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikanader!� and so on. In less than ten minutes, yet another soul-among so many more- rushed to the conclusion that I was a complete AH. The driver stopped talking to me. I was about to light a smoke when he screamed at me, �No, no ishmoke, company car!� I wanted to bite his ear off, for despite the closed windows of the car, the early morning breeze sneaked through and benumbed my er posterior, among other parts.

    The driver also contributed to my acid-reflux by driving like a serial killer chased by the cops. I belched, groaned, and tried to get the hint across. But as I was Hindi-blind, he was hint-blind. As the car bounced along on the pot-holed, muddy roads of Indore, leaving a trail of dust-cloud, and people diving for cover, I sighed, clenched my teeth, and thought in despair, �What have I gotten myself into god?�

    Finally, the car swung into the parking area of CSC India and came to a sudden stop. Saving myself from crashing through the windshield right at the nick of the moment, I jumped down and ran into the front office, swearing to myself that I would crawl on broken glass, but would never get on that car again. I found myself among so many people buzzing about, casting careless, enquiring glances (�who is this joker now?�). I felt small, insignificant, and out of place. And I noticed the announcement board. �Someone important must be visiting them I guess�, I thought. But the name appeared very familiar and warranted a scrutiny. I walked up to the board and the elegantly fit white plastic letters said �CSC India welcomes Sumankumar�. A boulder flew off my chest. I heaved a huge sigh of relief. And while the sigh echoed in the hall and made heads turn; I walked towards the reception-desk with a newfound energy flowing through my legs. I was important around here. These guys were waiting for my arrival.
    Mita, the receptionist with a billion dollar smile, asked me to take a seat, and cooed into the phone, �Mr. Sumankumar is here.� My chest was swollen now and it almost ripped off my shirt buttons. �Mr.Sumankumar� was music to my ears. I pictured someone deep inside CSCI�s belly anxiously waiting for my arrival. Boss, I am important or what!

    While I was drinking in the new atmosphere, Aparna stuck a bouquet of flowers at me and said, �Welcome to CSC India!� I accepted the bouquet, and gargled out an incoherent response (�huh, thank ho haa ughhh much!�). It was embarrassingly nice- to be welcomed and given flowers and all. My fist half hour in CSC was pure delight. Aparna took me around the office and I met all VPs, GMs, managers etc. She even had lunch with me, and post-lunch introduced me to my boss. �This is a cool place�, was my first impression.

    After a couple of years I quit CSC as I had to move down south; Indore was poorly connected (still is I guess), and I had to be closer to home owing to my mom�s health. Also, I wanted to move closer to Chitra who is from Bangalore. But I always tell people about how CSC treats new hires on their first day at work. I realized the worth of the first impression when I moved to Pune. (To be Contd)

    Write to me: suman 'at' sumankumar 'dot' com
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    Business Blogging: Chef Notes from Shiok

    I have been doing a case study for close to a year now on business blogging. I am fascinated by Madhu Menon's use of the medium to promote his restaurant Shiok - a far-eastern joint. Madhu runs a blog called Chef's notes and dishes out recipes, answers to your questions, and pontificates on the craft itself. The blog is of immense value to anyone who has got anything to do with the kitchen. Also, the blog positions Madhu as a person, and allows him to show case his wisdom (gained over years of study and experience). I wont be surprised if I saw him on some TV show, or discover his book on the best seller list. The man's got more than what it takes, and, he's got the stuff between his ears. So, there you go, that's how blogging can help business. Ok, now where's my free drink Madhu?
    If you're in Bangalore, please visit Madhu's new restaurant, Shiok Far-eastern Cuisine that serves good Thai, Malaysian, Indonesian, and Singaporean food. The restaurant is on CMH Road, Indiranagar, Bangalore.
    Write to me: suman 'at' techwritersindia 'dot' com
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    8/27/2004

     

    Movies in Bangalore: Only Kannada

    Update:I regret making this post. It attracted inflammatory comments. And, I don't want to want to provoke anyone. Call me a coward, but I don't want to change the world; I know it is possible but the price is too high. If you want to share your opinion write to me at suman 'at' sumankumar 'dot' com. To all those that were offended by this article: I regret it and I am striking the post off. I am stunned, shocked, and sad by the amount of hate we have amidst us.


    A few days back I read in the papers that some organization dedicated to guard the Kannada language staged protests(read: barge into a movie distributor's office and smash the property to pieces). I was stunned when I discovered yesterday that the government supported these self-proclaimed sentinel of the Kannada language, and banned releases of movies of other languages. No more new Tamil, Hindi, English (Yes, English movies too), or Telugu movies for us in Bangalore. Also, they said one can show 'other' movies only after 7 weeks of their release. How thoughtful!

    When I enquired around I learnt that the 'other' movies attracted protests because 'they' attributed the poor performance of Kannada movies at the box-office, to the proliferation and domination of 'other' movies. I almost died of laughter when I heard that. Now, I am all anxious for the next blockbuster from the Kannada stable: free of competition, and possibly the audience too. What 'they' forgot to take into account is the VCD. VCD piracy is rampant already, now, it will only explode into an uncontrollable menace. Good luck all ye directors/producers of Kannada movies. I hope you have heard of this story about how the cat thinks that when it closes its eyes, the whole world plunges into darkness?
    You know, I have a better idea. Why not make watching Kannada movies free of cost? I mean people just may start watching them when movies are offered for free... hey you know what, actually throw in some free Coke/Pepsi and some popcorn.
    Update: I read in the papers yesterday (29 August) that 21 movie halls in Bangalore have decided to shut shop indefinitely. Why? 'It is not viable.', they said. Ouch! You know what guys, making better movies is easier.

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    8/13/2004

     

    Good bye Pune!

    Today was my last working day and on 16th I'll move from Pune to Bangalore. So, good bye Pune, and congrats Bangalore.
    I will be in Chennai on 18th August. So, all ye bloggers there. Write to me if you wanna meet up.

    Pune: people keep telling me it is a nice, cool city. It is. Its weather is almost like that of Bangalore. Its multiplexes are awesome. There's a good music scene here; rock concerts, Jazz concerts - you name it. Its discotheques -though guilty of playing predominantly Hindi film music, Bhangra and the likes ONLY - are cool. The DJs suck though. Each DJ here thinks by playing Anu Malik one could enter the hallowed portals international DJdom. Tough luck Mr.DJ. You can do better than that!

    Pune is also a trekker's dream come true. Its lush green weekend get aways (Mulshi - I loved it!) and proximity to a score of hill stations make Pune a truly awesome place... But hey, I am going to Bangalore man. Hee-ha. Comin home baby!

    Request to the bikers and motorists of Pune: You guys need to take it easy. Speeding and motoring on the wrong side of the road is not cool. Read my furry lips: NOT COOL. And when there's a big puddle of rain water band in the middle of the road, you are supposed to slow your car down. NOT splash the water all over people. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. %^&*()

    Anyway, I made some cool friends here in Pune. And a special hoorray goes to Sumit, the Passanhas, and the Patades. It was good fun hanging with you guys. Keep it alive people. Yea. Keep it goin, the good times rollin.
    My wonderful wife who is a doc, threatens me with air-bubble injections if I am late. So, bye for now. More later, when I find time. In the meantime; peace out, don't drink and drive (just drink, get it?), pay your taxes, stop using the F word (do it!), don't watch pirated VCDs, and stop listening to Anu Malik, Kumar Sanu (the guy that sounds like he's got a few mics stuck up his posterior). Sayonara!

    Write to me: suman 'at' techwritersindia 'dot' com
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    8/10/2004

     

    My new short story: Fools die


    Imthiyaz Ahmed tugged at the noose tied to the ceiling fan. It appeared to be quite solid. He dragged the tall metal stool beneath the ceiling fan. He climbed on top of the stool and stood up slowly. His knees were shaking. His shirt stuck to his back because of the profuse perspiration. It was the Bangalore summer or maybe it was the fact that in a few minutes from now he�d be dead. (Continue reading)

    Write to me: suman 'at' techwritersindia 'dot' com
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    8/05/2004

     

    Microsoft Launches Blogging Service in Japan


    TOKYO (Reuters) - Microsoft Corp. said on Wednesday it was launching its first-ever Web log service in Japan next week and aimed to have one million users in the first year, intensifying competition with Google Inc. (Read more on Reuters)
    (Via Xavier)

    Why Japan but!?
    Write to me: suman 'at' techwritersindia 'dot' com
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    8/03/2004

     

    Robert Deniro's audio clips

    Deniro's audio clips. If you like the man you're in for a treat.
    Visit: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/deniro2.html
    Write to me: suman 'at' techwritersindia 'dot' com
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    The Wedding part2: The Reception

    A wedding Reception, ladies, gentlemen and others, may at the outset appear exciting. I was thrilled about wearing my beige suit and pose for the photographers. I was all set to devour the huge shower of attention that my better half and I would be getting. Things are not what they seem dear reader, and I learnt it the hard way.
    Read on!

    Write to me: suman 'at' techwritersindia 'dot' com
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    8/02/2004

     

    Honda Accord TV Commercial

    Check it out. The message I get is 'Users should not be bothered about how the product works. The product should just work. Invisibly.' Unlike websites that ask for Flash plugins. ;-) You know!
    Check out the ad here: http://www.steelcitysfinest.com/HondaAccordAd.htm

    Write to me: suman 'at' techwritersindia 'dot' com
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