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    3/23/2006

     

    Personal Sound Tracks

    Picture this: When you were a kid you caught your kid bro stealing from your grand pa's wallet. Your kid bro turns around and spots you. The thought that is racing in your head is 'Got the b**tard. I am gonna nail him this time.' Your kid bro's face is pale, his lips are quivering and nostrils are flaring. The tip of his nose is crimson with embarrassment. What sound did you use to express the sweet taste of victory or the high that the moment of absolute power? Here are some choices:
    1) "Taan-tada-daaannnn!" followed by 'wait till I tell mom' or,
    2) The guttural "hainnnnnnnnnnn!" expressing shock over his heinous crime or,
    3) A single, vociferous "TTaaaaaaannnnn!" that expresses 'Gotcha!'

    As story tellers, kids use (at least used to. I don't know if kids tell stories now a days) sound to make their stories interesting, to keep the audience hooked, and of course, for special effects. I used to be thrown out of class for varied reasons when I was studying in Little Flower Convent in Chittoor (A.P). Say, your shoes are untidy; they'll make you sit under a tree in the playground the whole freaking day. It was a blessing in disguise for us, rebels. The only way to kill time sitting under the tree was to tell stories. And, boy did we use sound tracks?
    "...and he kicked the bike to life {hrrroooooooooooooooooooooon} and sped away"
    �He started belting them bad boys {dishkkyaaamm! dishoooom} and some times {oooooh bakaaaavv!}
    "The villain kidnaps his parents and his pet water snake. The siren on his bike starts blaring {kneeeeowww kneeeowww}"

    You get my drift? Quite a few of us give our sound tracks up I guess. Correct me if I am wrong. But my good friend Dickens has not. He uses the following sounds to express various sentiments:
    "Zoop-Zoop-Zoop" (represents...er... sorry, can't publish it)
    ""Zupaack-Zupaack" (used in situations like 'when the cop catches you and discovers you have no license... you know what he'll do to you right? Zupaack Zupaack baby'.

    If a picture is worth a 1000 words, a sound is worth at least 500. Check the novel that you are reading right now, you'll see how the author has used sound to create the experience (Peter Straub does it I guess). If you take the sound track off all horror movies, they will not scare you. Not you, not Sachin, not Sourav, and not even the witnesses-turned-hostile of the Jessica Lal case.

    Silence is golden, but sound is fun. What do you think bro? Taaaaaannnnnn! (gong signaling the end).
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    3/20/2006

     

    Um...

    Just when you thought you had life by the scruff of its neck, it rams its knee between your legs (don't visualise it if you are a heart patient). That is probably why I don't feel like writing now a days. Sorry dear reader if you had visited and found nothing new on my site. I will make it up to you.
    Quite a few of us are pissed off with Sidhu and his machine gun mouth that sprays cliches, nonsense, and some illogical sh*t. I am not. Not any more. He made me laugh so hard last night, and see? I am back to blogging. Even Sidhus of this world have a place and a purpose on this green world. If only he lets others talk...
    Anyway, if you are confused about what career to choose or which way to go. Drop everything and go for Police selections in Bangalore. The Lokayukta anti-corruption wing snared some inspectors with disproportionate wealth. Imagine if you crack the civil services and become an IPS? Whoa!

    And, what the f*** is this barcamp thing? Everyone's talking about it. I thought it was a bunch of 'bars' holding a camp in palace grounds. 50% discount on Old Monk rum, you know? But no. It is something else. Something far too academic to pique my interest.

    Last night on NDTV, I heard people say that it is downright mean to boo Sachin. I think we should drop Sachin for a match just to see how the Mumbaikar foam at the corner of his mouth. I mean we fired that ex-captain from Calcutta, what's his name? Yeah.

    (Flexing my fingers. 'Crackkkk!') It is good to be back man. Oh yeah. Congrats Torpedos! on your first blogging anniversary.



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    3/07/2006

     

    Doctor, doctor

    You probably didn�t hear about it. The explanation is very simple. It has nothing to do with the IIMs or the IITs. It is about the fate of the thousands of doctors of this country. The All India Post-graduate Medical Entrance exam was held on January 8, 2006. Over 57,000 students appeared and over 4,000 qualified the exam. The results were announced some where in early February. One of my friends got rank 8! On 1 March, however, we were shell-shocked when we heard that the counseling scheduled for 3 March was postponed and the entrance results were withheld. The honorable health minister Dr.Anbumani  Ramadoss woke up suddenly and ordered a CBI enquiry into reported malpractices from Chennai centers. Some 37 of the top 100 ranks were from the same center in Chennai. One might wonder �why did they announce the results in the first place?� The same thing happened in 2002. The organizers should have studied the results before they had released them. But no, they were too busy making policies of such great importance like, um, ban on on-screen smoking. The entrance is one of the toughest. Doctors take off a year to prepare for this exam. One of the reasons is that this exam does not have reservation quota. The other PG entrance exams like AIIMS have quotas. Why should we have reservations at the PG level? God only knows. Will you go to a doctor if you discovered he got his PG seat using the reservation quota? The hell you will. Anyway, we don't know what this means. Will they have a re-exam and tax thousands of hard-working doctors to punish a bunch of losers? Or will they say 'no discrepancies were found' and get on with it? We don't know.
    The aspirants are devastated and haven't a clue what turn their life will take next, thanks to our sensitive and intelligent health minister.

    What is the big deal did you say? Doctors in our country struggle a lot. They start earning money�whatever little that is� in their late 20s. By that time, their software engineer siblings, cousins, and friends would have bought an apartment, a car, and what not. I know that we can�t compare professions. Don't tell me about Oranges and Apples cowboy.

    Why do we screw our doctors? Their profession is life-saving right? Even our movies show doctors as evil, corrupt individuals who have no social responsibility. So, when they go on strike, we dish out harsh punishment. We sack them. When the bus drivers, phone department employees, or the electricity department employees go on strike, we bear with them. In most cases we give in to their demands. But not to doctors. They go on strike, they are fired. What kind of an unfair system is this? One that hurts its most valuable member.

    The on-going strike by resident doctors in Maharashtra is a result of years of government apathy. Before we dig deeper let me tell you how resident doctors in government colleges work. They work 18 hours shifts. They have no facilities. Their hostels are so dirty, quite a few of them sleep in the wards. And, they get paid peanuts. Don�t think that the Maharashtra doctors are on a strike because of all that. They merely want security. This time a patient�s daughter slapped a resident. All he did was that he sought permission for some post-mortem related thing. It is ironic that the life saving professional has to go through all this nonsense and be socially responsible too.

    A citizen's group has filed a petition against the Maharashtra doctor's strike in the Nagpur Bench of the Bombay High Court. The petition says that doctors in government medical colleges and hospitals have no right to go on strike, and demands compensation for patients who have suffered. [Via NDTV]

    How many of these citizens visit only the government hospitals for treatment? Who are they kidding? We can�t even hold a fair entrance examination. We don�t even offer them basic amenities. We let people manhandle doctors. And now, we want them to shut up about their problems too. When they go to America, we call them traitors. We are such losers, it is not even funny. Why do we expect others to be self-righteous when most of us individuals (even the software guys from Bangalore) won�t even follow simple traffic rules? At times, at the risk of causing injury or even death to our fellow motorists? But each one of us gushed and went into a tizzy of manufactured patriotism about that loser movie RDB? Now, if you really want to make a difference start with the traffic rules. Stop honking you retard. And get a real bike. Lose that Pulsar.
    So, doc, I am okay if you go to USA or UK, become super-rich, and be happy.

    Anyway, one may think that life is easier for Indian doctors in the USA. It was. But not any more. Check this out . In UK, it has become worse:
    See http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/documentaries/timeshift/raj-int.shtml  and http://www.aippg.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=27399

    So there you have it. The Indian doctor is screwed in his/her own country and in the rest of the world too. If we don�t start respecting these life-saving professionals and make some drastic changes in medical education policies, we will be at the receiving end very soon. Think about it.

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    3/06/2006

     

    Four Years of Blogging

    On 24th February I completed four years of blogging. It struck me only today...
    Note to reader: I know that my blog has not seen action in a while. I'll get back to posting regularly very soon though. I'll leave you with a classic Mr.Dickens joke:
    Me: What does the word Kamikaze mean?
    Dickens: There was a pilot called Kaze. One day he was hovering over a ship when the angry captain radioed him 'Come here Kaze, NOW!.' Kaze did. The rest is history.
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