The Yellow Pages Blues series:
The Early Days
In the field
Yesterday, a salesman had called. He wanted to sell a personal loan to me. He claimed that he was from Citibank. �Are you from an agency of Citibank or from Citibank itself?� He cleared his throat, grunted, and said �I am from Citibank.� Even Bush would have figured that the salesman was lying. The salesman then asked me �Sir, can I have your credit card number?� I said �It is not safe to give credit card information over the phone. You should know; you are from Citibank!?� He did his clearing his throat and grunting routine again. �Give me you e-mail id and I will send it to you� I said. He dropped this gem on me in response: �No sir, if you send an e-mail to me it will reach my manager. We have only one e-mail for the entire team.�
Where are the good sales people gone? I was making 4k per month those days. I made all my money through incentives. In 1995-96 the economy was mere shadow of what it is today. And, Chennai�s businessmen were so conservative that they made my conservative grand ma seem like J Lo. We had to collect 100% payment while the competitor was giving 50% and at times 100% credit. It was our first directory. The Tata name did only so much.
We sold in two phases. We sold for 25% less in the first phase. So the first phase end was a high-pressure period. That�s when we bagged a major chunk of our sales. We ended our sales cycle with phase two. So, the pitch for phase one was �pay tomorrow, you pay 25% more.� And for phase two it was �we are closing bookings this is your last chance.� Now, TPYP used a �fear-of-loss� ad campaign to woo customers. It was not exactly a brilliant campaign, I mean, we had mailers that showed a pictured of a guy drowning and the punch line went, �If you don�t advertise, your business will drown too� Hmmm, well, customers bawled out �how the f*** we survived all these years before you guys got here?� That left us with only one thing to rely on to generate sales: ourselves.
I had joined in October 1995 and I experienced my phase-end in November. I still haven�t a clue how I got through that torrid, taxing, high-pressure days of my life. The phase-end was supported by an ad campaign in The Hindu. �20 days left to save your business� or some thing like that appeared through out the month at regular intervals.
When the phase-end did hit us, the rain god suddenly woke up and remembered that he had forgotten Chennai. Even the heavy rains did not stop us from making calls. I used to hesitate a lot to enter a customer�s office dripping wet. But I realized that they appreciated the sincerity. During the phase-end I was always in a hurry: no time for lunch; no time for sleep; no time for beer. I used to eat from carts on the roadside or from one of the tea stalls that sold �brinji� (vegetable rice) at five bucks. I have to thank Rajesh for teaching me an important technique. I had this problem of clients postponing signing-up. I would have been happier if they just said �no, not interested�. But this �Why don�t you come tomorrow?� hurt me. I was so frustrated that it affected my performance and I was shit scared that I wouldn�t be able to finish my targets. So, Rajesh, Dilip, Sri, and I went to that idly/dosa cart in the lane adjacent to the CA institute. We drowned the piping hot idlies in the watery yet yummy Sambar; topped it up with a few vadas and some chutney. �It is not important if you are lying or being truthful� Rajesh said. �All that matters is your customer believing you.�
He continued, �I am not saying cheat on them, but some times truth sounds like a lie because we salesmen say it. Your problem is that you don�t look into your customer�s eye when you ask for that check.� I didn�t quite understand. I thought it was some silly shit. Rajesh said, �don�t be ashamed to ask for his money. You are giving him something far more valuable in return, remember?�
It is almost a clich� but I�ll say it for the benefit of my software engineer brethren who probably will never have to hit the field and face the music: believe in what you sell. It all starts there. When you think you are selling the coolest product in the world, it shows. And that�s what makes them buy. Sell only if you are in love with your product. Else, go home and become a clerk or something. Sales is for ambitious people. Those that can never be sated. That�s why I gave it up. It became too much for me to handle.
Anyway, after that little conversation with Rajesh, my checks started trickling in and I did my target with two days to spare. On the last day I was doing the rounds to collect some more checks. Anything above 100% fetched more incentives you see. And the beeper asked me to call office. Some company from Kilpauk had called.
�What does he want?� I asked Subha, who had paged me.
�I think he will give you an ad. A display if you are lucky.� She said.
I hung up and thought about it. I already crossed 110%. Even if he gives a small display it wouldn�t make too much of a difference. I was so damn tired and I wanted to end the madness right away. �Just this one client and we will go home� I told myself and went to make the call on the client. When Anand and I stopped our bikes outside the client�s office we were disappointed. It was a shabby building that needed some fresh paint. Worse, there was no name board. �Looks like a bold listing� I told myself. Bold listing was the cheapest of the ads. A hefty, short man directed me to the first floor office. We entered an air-conditioned room. The client was engaged in a phone conversation, but waved at us requesting a couple of minutes for him to end the call. Anand and I sat down. I spotted some product literature and started reading it. I mentally made note of the categories under which he could advertise. The client finished the call and we shook hands and all. He seemed like a well read man. His spectacles too, contributed to the aura of knowledge and wisdom that shrouded his rather small frame. His voice was steely, persuasive, and was devoid of any conceit. I can�t bull him into buying, I thought.
�I know what Yellow pages are. In fact, someone from your office met me in our Sowcarpet office but he never came back.�
He showed me the visiting card. It read Sachin. He was a management trainee. An MBA. I was shocked. I mean, Sachin was one of the toppers and he wouldn�t be so careless, no matter how small the prospect was. I shrugged and went ahead with my presentation and asked him �what is the budget that you�ve ear-marked sir? I�d like to know so that I can give you the right value for your money.�
The client patiently listened to my bull and he said �Hmm my budget is some thing around 70 grand? I manufacture Ozonators and you don�t have a category for it.� My jaw dropped and Anand started kicking me trying to say �go for it, don�t leave this prospect� as if I would. So, I called up Bimal who rubbished the proposal of creating a new category and called me names. I almost wanted to run back to office and kill that guy but I decided to try my luck with the client.
I told the client that he should probably focus on areas where his product is useful than worrying about creating a new category. No one would know what an Ozonator is and they wouldn�t look for one in the directory anyways. So I asked him to list all categories that his product can find use. I pulled out the category list and made notes. We ended up with some twenty five categories. I suggested him a plan. A display in each category. Knock-out White ads in the yellow background. Creating the right contrast that will give him 30% extra pull. I was talking too much to him not allowing him to make up his mind. You know, the pause is the most powerful weapon in a salesman�s life. If we won�t pause we don�t� sell. It is like this:
You ask a prospect for the check: �So, you are taking a full page or half sir?� and shut up. Wait for at least 40 seconds before you utter any other word. Unless, the client speaks that is. If you don�t, you will end up irritating the client with your sales talk. Give the guy some time to make up his mind. So, Anand nudged me and asked me to shut up.
The client looked at my plan, smiled at me, made some corrections and said, �I think we�ll go with my plan.� His plan was around seventy six grand. I already had achieved my target and 76K was extra. Bonus. I should just take it and run. I did not.
I decided to push him for more money. By that time Anand had been through two Cardiac arrests and a few ulcers. When I started suggesting that the client should be investing more money, Anand started making some weird noises and he stomped my feet.
I finally wrapped up my push, �96k against 76k. We are talking a difference of 20 here sir. But I think you should invest at least 96 if you want your new product to blossom, what do you say sir?�
The whirr of the air-conditioner was the only sound. A bead of sweat trickled down my forehead. I swallowed and I realized that feet were locked tight. I was so tense that I was sure that I would faint. After what seemed like an eternity, the client said, �Okay.�
Anand this time pinched my thigh and I wanted to bang his head with a paper weight.
I made the master bill and pushed it across. The client signed it and I asked him the dumbest question of the decade. �Cash or check sir?� The client�s head bobbed and he went, �what? Check of course!� And I nailed it with, �Could you please give me the check details sir? I need them to finish our contract.� Anand was showing the thumbs-up from under the desk. I was acting all cool as if I collect lakhs of rupees everyday.
He wrote the check and read out the check number and the amount� 96000 from a single client for 12 ads. When I took the check my hands trembled. It was truly a moment that heralded the graduation of the small town boy into a street-smart, city-wise young man.
I collected a couple of more checks on the way back to office. When I walked in, there weren�t too many people. It was still early and it was the last day of the phase-ending. I knew that the guys would come back late from the field. Bimal was standing there in that hall. And I walked to the scoreboard and wrote in bold letters �112000� against my name. There were only two people at that precise moment but their applause seemed like the roar of the crowd when Sachin hits a six. I went into the pantry and lit a smoke. As the smoke filled my lungs and slithered out through my mouth and nostrils. I threw my head back, closed my eyes, and told myself, �I am good. I am too f***ing good.�
The Yellow Pages Blues series:
The Early Days
In the field
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